Top Ten Unknown Facts About Derek Jeter

Sometimes you have to do things for yourself. This will probably only be up for 5 minutes.

And You're Under.

I don't know about you, but I began my day with a little Roxy Music, and things couldn't be better. This following a rather shaky weekend that started with myself navigating something called the 5 Freeway in something that could best be described as a Toyota Camry. Harrowing to be sure.

But my adventures in driving didn't end there. Sunday morning I drove all the way down to Melrose and Crescent Heights to check out the new Opening Ceremony shop, and I discovered that they don't necessarily abide by their posted hours. I guess I should have known better. Some shops in New York may open at 11:00 am on a Sunday, but certainly not in Los Angeles. And certainly not on Melrose. Well, Urban Outfitters may open at 11 who knows or cares.

So I ended up poking around Fred Segal and Ron Herman with all the other fashion victims, but since I was the only customer I guess they all must have worked there. I momentarily lost myself in celebutard retail moment and found myself trying on these Free City hoodies. They were by and large hideous, but they smelled like wonderful laundry soap, and they were everywhere. The entire main room at Ron Herman was filled with them, and after I had some nice young thing retrieve my size in four separate styles I lost my nerve and bought one. It's not all bad though I mean I'm wearing it right now, and one has to wear something to work.

My trip to Target was an honest to God disaster. After navigating the monolithic parking structure maze I managed to find an express elevator to Customer Service. I then found a trolley, and from there it was all a blur of people. Shoppers with their trolley's. I lost it somewhere around the kitchen department and just abandoned my trolley and ran for the door. My later experience in Trader Joe's was similar.

The Yankees pulled out a win over the Red Sox on Saturday, but that was the only one. They lost to the Red Sox last night something to something it was blacked out. Derek has maintained his 17 game hitting streak, and Yankees fans everywhere are simply holding onto the tender mercies. Like a hideous Free City hoodie. There is a lot of criticism of Joe Torre over the Yankees' recent slump. Derek, however, remains steadfastly loyal to his manager. Click here, here, here, and here for stories.

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Former Dior menswear designer Hedi Slimane has reportedly signed preliminary paperwork with the Gucci Group to develop the Hedi Slimane brand. The Gucci Group also includes Yves Saint Laurent, Balenciaga, McQueen and Bottega Veneta. I hope it works out for the kid. Click here for more.

Oh, and I guess Derek was on David Letterman on Thursday night. Thanks for letting me know everyone. I had to hear about it from youtube.

Eat Purgatory Pizza Dot Com.

The Yankees have lost 6 straight games, and I'm simply beside myself. Derek was scratched from the line-up an hour before the first pitch because of a bruised thigh. I think it bears mentioning in all of this that Jason Giambi has been hit with 15 pitches this season, and Derek has been hit by 12. I know everyone is making a fuss about the 6 losses and all, but you have to admit that the teams they have been playing against are pussies of the highest order. I do think it would be quite something if the Yankees paid the most for their players and managed to have a losing record. At least no one could accuse a Yankees fan of being a fair weather fan. Well at least the ones that remain fans.

The record itself is really beside the point. I mean obviously it's nice when your team wins, but with the Yankees there are so many consolation prizes. I've said it before, the uniforms are the cutest, the players are the most attractive (especially now that Randy's gone), and their players don't cheat or paint their sock and call it blood.

There really isn't anything one can do in such a situation except shop the tears away. There is a new designer I'm interested in named Peter Jensen. I read about him on Jargol, and was immediately taken with his easily pronounceable name. Then I looked at the clothes and wasn't horrified. A Danish designer now working out of London his clothes are playful without being too precious and are well tailored without a hint of Paul Smith. Brings to mind something I may wear on a golf course if in fact I didn't loathe golf. So far I've only been able to find women's clothes on-line which of course means I may have to go into an actual brick and mortar establishment. I understand Opening Ceremony carries the line, but I'm not sure if that includes their LA store. But this Sunday I'll check it out, and let you know since I'm sure you're just dying to hear how many shirts it takes to undo a Yankees loss.

I learned of this other designer from NewCityMovement. Jurgen Oeltjenbruns is a name I can barely pronounce, but the clothes are easy on the eyes. I may be out of luck as far as this goes. The only place anywhere near me that may carry his clothes is Rolo in San Francisco. And they won't return my emails. Not that I'd ever go to San Francisco. I really need to plan a trip to New York. However, It's a little sad when someone invites you to do something, and you have to check your bookings on the airline website in order to reply. Maybe in the Fall.

Desire Doesn't Come Into This.

Well there was no Yankees game last night so I'm at a loss. Really. It was postponed due to rain. Something the Mariners never have to worry about, but ah well. Pettitte will not be pitching tonight, but will be pitching on Friday. Derek is expected to play following Tuesday night's first inning Plunk and Play that grounded him for the rest of the day.

Absent baseball I was forced to endure the wildlife of Silverlake where I am house sitting. I noticed how all the magpies in Silverlake sound either like car alarms or automatic weapons. It might seem frightening if it weren't all terribly irritating. And I watched Lord of War last night and I was really impressed. After National Treasure, Nicolas Cage could have blown me in the laundry room and I wouldn't have noticed, but he was quite good in this film. Jared Leto is also really good in this film. Sir Ian Holm who on any other day should get top billing also makes an appearance. I know it's an old film, and I'm somewhat behind the curve on this, but if you haven't seen it you should check it out.

I was reading a fashion blog yesterday and they announced the Spring Summer 07 line of one of my favorite designers. Bernard Willhelm holds nothing back this season offering geometric cuts, bold colors, and perhaps the cutest red shoes I've ever. A portion of the womens line is offered at Seven included in the links to your right. The mens line is not available as of yet. So sorry. I shop naked a lot in both senses of the word, so if you have any questions about on-line retailers I may be able to offer some assistance. Unless you're stupid enough to order from Barney's. Then your fool ass is on its own.

And you may be happy to know that last night I used a Swedish egg wash facial soap that simply takes my breath away. Even now after a night's sleep, shaving, and application of an after shave balm my face is so smooth and silky. I can't pronounce the name let alone spell it, but no, it isn't Hakansson it's something else. And Dermalogica will eventually have to explain to me how their overpriced stuff doesn't even start to compare to this obscure Swedish soap. Although I'm lost without my Dermalogica eye cream and this soap I used last night may cost a lot more than Dermalogica, but I certainly wouldn't know. But however much it costs I want a 30 year supply of it. I like blogging about my product. I may do it more often whenever a Yankees game is postponed or nothing interesting happens.

Stealin'

This is a hot ad for Gatorade. Enjoy!

Facing The Loss.

Derek was hit by a wild ass pitch yesterday. That would be like the 800th time during the season, and I'm not the only one whose already discussing foul play. This is the second time in this very young season that he's been plunked by the very same pitcher. He was asked after yesterday's game whether he thought he was being "pitched inside" more than he should, and his nonchalant answer was of course "I don't think so." Derek had to leave the game in the second inning so my answer is that this pitcher, whoever the eff he is, is a colossal douche.

And I guess it also merits mentioning that the Yankees have lost their fifth straight game. The kids at work are behaving like asses. Even broaching the subject is quite beyond the pale, and they broach it in a big way. And I personally don't disagree with them necessarily. No, I don't think Brian Cashman would recognize a good pitcher if he were doing him in the back of a Monte Carlo. Oh Monte. But I certainly can't get on board all of this "They try to buy themselves the best team, and that sucks blah blah blah" blather. Mainly because all teams try to buy themselves the best team, and the Yankees simply spend more money in the process. To fault them for that is simply reaching into the dregs of class consciousness which I will not abide. It's a capitalist society, and you either have to get on board, or directly subvert the mega-crisis. I won't tolerate this sitting on the fence business. Actually I will tolerate it, but when I see it I'm always acutely aware that I'm beholding someone who is honestly quite unintelligent. Or at least sloppy with their data.
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I'm trying to decide whether or not I should be interested in the new Julian Red "collection" not that I would actually call it a collection, but that seems to be what some people are calling it. It may very well be 4 cuts of denim and one graphic tee shirt I don't know, but I haven't seen any evidence to the contrary. But with a population of just over 9 million, how many officious Swedish denim cross-over labels are we expected to endure. I thought one was too many. And BTFW, Opening Ceremony, which I've written about recently, is featuring U.S.A. vs. Sweden. Quite inspired. And I'm not joking necessarily it's just that sometimes I wish there was a font for sarcasm. Anyway, check out the Julian Red "line" at this link. It takes an absurd amount of time to load. On purpose. But the music isn't irritating. But the site itself is quite useless.

And in case anyone is wondering, and I can't for the life of me understand who would, I am not now, have not been, and will never be interested in the all too self conscious and precious tee shirt designs of Kenzo Minami. Although I may be jaded. The last things that have truly interested me in fashion have been fox hunting gear and the color red. Go figure. But something about slapping a graphic design on a tee shirt and calling it important kinda died for me a while back. A long way back. But I'm only human. You can pick up one of his tees at activeendeavors.com. But for God's sake use the promotional discount code I provided a few days ago because they seriously are not worth the money. Seriously.

Could It Be Upside Down?

I really don't know what to say about the picture above. Other than I really really love baseball. It's sorta like a passion of mine. An American past time if you will. Although I had to watch the Yankees lose three times to the Red Sox this weekend. I was in a sports bar of all places for one of these losses. The Yankees pitching seems to be as weak as it ever has. Chase Wright had a complete breakdown on Sunday and allowed something like 4 consecutive home-runs. It was some kind of record is all I know. And the Yankees lost to the Devil Rays last night so I guess they've lost four in a row. I didn't see the Devil Ray's game since I was in transit.



I watched this gentlemen a great deal yesterday. He was working on a hideous building across the street from Anonymous D. He was quite a busy bee, and it was really hard to get decent shots. So yeah anyway, that pretty much sums up my weekend.

I'm really sorry if anyone stayed up way too late on Friday to watch Morrissey on Jimmy Kimmel. He played a lame song, and sounded fairly weak. The entire show I understand was nice, but what they aired on the show was not worth staying up that late for. It's on youtube now anyway. Youtube. The new television that I haven't killed.

Oh wait. I got punched by a punk rock girl at some punk rock show called The Spits. They weren't too fond of color at this show. Everyone was wearing some type of variation on the black hoodie. I suppose since punk rock is all about dressing the same and listening to hideous music. I think poverty and bad hygiene fall in there somewhere as well. I was completely stunned, but apparently my over sized Yves Saint Laurent ring got caught in this bitches straggly locks, and she lost it and punched me in the face. I just stood there and stared at her, and she said something, and I said something, but the buzz kill was complete, and it was this bitches fault, and I was going home, then I was going back to Los Angeles. So yeah I got beat up by a girl. Queer bashers!!!!

I Have A Bone To Pick.

RoRo may be losing his mind. Girl scored her 10th homo, and second walk-off homo during yesterdays game against the Indians. Kids at work were giving me a hard time about it. Almost as much as when RoRo could do nothing it seemed but bat into a double play. I don't know why. There was some flapping heterosexual in my office who had no idea you could watch every single game until I explained to him about mlb.tv crooks that they are. He was teasing me about RoRo's recent surge, but I just ignored him cuz he was watching someone called Toronto. Is that Justin Morneau's team I asked him. Really. Do they wear pinstripes? Do you even really exist?

All in all it seems obvious that RoRo is wasting his runs, but hopefully this gives them some confidence going into the series against Boston who are at this moment I believe leading the Eastern Division by .39 games.

And practicing homosexuals and unattractive bloggers fancying themselves bedsit statisticians like this douche are on the warpath against Derek. Talkin all sorts of trash about his fielding percentages, and how he's at best the 25th best short-stop in baseball, blah, blah, blah, blah. I've heard all the same shit before, and I grow tired of saying it so this will be the last time. These people who manufacture these statistics are morons and colossal freaks. The figures they use are essentially made up in their unqualified and addled heads. What is a potential assist? How do they determine how many potential assists are in any given game? And is there any evidence that they simply don't make it up? Or possibly agree through some sort of quorum of Dungeon & Dragon clerics? I seriously have no time for their cottage industry of geek. And neither does Derek so good day to you. Couldn't even give decent head if they wanted to I tell you what.

And I'll admit that what they are doing is essentially math. But so is Numerology and that's nothing more than a children's game. But at the end of the day all that their "math" is establishing is how many Fraggles it takes to screw in a rubber light bulb. Congratulations. You're wasting your life and your education in the same breath. One can't accuse them
of not being efficient.
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Please don't forget about Morrissey performing on Jimmy Kimmel tonight at midnight Pacific time. Anonymous D and I will try to stay up for it, but air travel can be so demanding on my energies.

And I got a kick out of this little story. It seems that designer John Galliano has been fined for, oh how did they put it, oh yeah, He was fined for copying another artist. I guess all art is imitation, and collage is the new medium. Click here to read about it.

Language

And who put the e in emo? No seriously this is my favorite song of the moment. And I don't even like emo or folk or rock, but this is nice. Probably better in another context, but you know me when it comes to lettering.

Can You Get It On.

Sanjaya was voted off American Idol last night so boo to that. But there is no accounting for American taste. What is the number one song in America right now? If it isn't Scott Matthew's Language then who honestly gives a shit. You saw the video above right? The ban on Dodgers related entertainment remains, however, and mark my words they will feel the pinch of my $22 dollars.

The Yankees, however, continued to trounce "The Tribe" in yesterday's game with each player having a hit, Derek scoring a run, RoRo earning his 9th homo of the season, and Derek and Robbie executing a double play which quite simply defies explanation. Robbie Cano is an incredible asset to the Yankees and provided he can control his weight he has enormous room for growth as a player.

There are some great interviews with Derek and RoRo on YesNetwork.com. I can't link you directly to the video, but I can link you to the page here. The rest you simply have to figure out for yourselves. In the video Derek admits that RoRo's recent batting success is amazing, and frankly something that he can't relate to because he can't do it. I'm getting so excited for the corporeal games I'll be attending next month. Anonymous D will bring his opera glasses, and even though they'll only be a few feet away it always helps.

Yesterday was also a special day in that it marks the first time in recorded dates that Compadre commented on this blog. And when I say recorded dates I of course am referring to the paper dates. The paper dates you know. On the paper with the dates. It comes! So that was a lot of fun, and now that he knows how to do it we may all see a little side of Compadre that only I've seen before.

Also, Pony and I have decided that we will be attending the True Colors tour which will be performing at the Greek Theatre just up the road from my house of June 30th. Performers include Cindi Lauper, Erasure, Debbie Harry, The Dresden Dolls, and all sorts of others. I think it may be during Pride Week which would be all kinds of special.

I'm off to the Emerald City tomorrow. My true home. I'm trying not to forget anything, but modern life you know. Fuck it.

Good Movie

This is the movie Compadre recommended to me, and I recommend to you. I'm trying to ignore someone in my office.

I Could Fall In Love With You.

I've been listening to the new Erasure single because I have a weakness for those boys. A serious weakness. Compadre is convinced that it sounds really really really really really gay. And that could be, but you should hear Compadre discuss Tree Shrews. I nearly jumped out of a moving car the first time he brought it up.

If That's The Writing On The Wall Then I Can't Read.

I'm no longer a Dodgers fan. Not that I was a fan of anything but their hats before. Apparently Sanjaya (American Idol Powerhouse) was recently attending a Dodgers game against the Padres (cause you know he can really fit in at Dodgers Stadium) when the camera zoomed in on him, and the crowd started to boo him. Who the fuck do those low rent mother fuckers think they are? So I've basically had it. I was planning on going to several Dodgers games, but as of this moment I'm beginning the movement to ban all Dodgers related entertainment. Not that a contestant of American Idol should be defended or even not spit at, but there is something uglier behind these taunts that doesn't even bear mentioning. And I think we all know what it is. Puntas!

The Yankees game went off without a hitch and nary a trace of bigotry from the fans, players or coaches. I guess that's prolly cause the Yankees aren't in the NBA, and they have class. RoRo hit yet another homo run, and Jorge hit his 200th career homo. Derek had a brilliant defensive play in the third, and there were no subjective errors on Derek's part. I think they may have shown off a bit with all the extra runs, but all in all it was a good game up until the point that MLB.tv decided to go belly up on me.

Now sports writers are commenting on how RoRo and Derek are incapable, in some sort of cosmic fashion, of "being hot" at the same time. I know it sounds so absurd it almost makes you laugh you silly little head off, but just click here for the article.

Holding Onto My Childhood.

Fox News, ABC, Yahoo, et. al. have told me that I'm going to remember what I was doing when I heard the news of the largest shooting rampage in the Nation's history. Well I feel embarrassed because I can't quite seem to remember. I may have been checking my email, or updating my Netflix queue, I could have even been filling out my time sheet who knows. I certainly don't remember what I was doing during the last largest National shooting rampage which quite naturally happened somewhere in Texas. And there are some people I know who still haven't heard about this latest news. Like the boy from last night. I'm sure he'll always remember what he was doing when he heard the news, but some people really didn't have the pleasure. I guess that's the problem when the media tells you what is suppose to be important to you. It smugly ignores the simple fact that many of us actually live our lives despite it all.

Derek apparently leads the league in errors which as you know are entirely subjective, but some sports journalists have just gotten themselves in a state over this news. I think Derek put it best, and he certainly encapsulated Anonymous D's view on errors when he said, "I pretty much used up my allotment for a while." Now if RoRo had the same attitude with his homo runs then he wouldn't be in such a predicament later on this season. Mark my words. I think it's probably just nerves, and BTFW, Derek has had his share of amazing defensive plays this year, and I think it would be a mistake to overlook those in the face of whatever ABC, FoxNews, or even Newsday is focusing on. The Yankees will be playing Cleveland this evening at 4:05 P, and if I remember correctly "The Tribe" as I shit you not they call themselves are insufferable bullies.
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So Compadre recommended this movie to me Shortbus, and I spent a good part of last night watching it, and I'm quite pleased he forewarned me about the subject matter, but I still couldn't quite make it through. I think I'm going to save it and watch it on my flight to Seattle on Friday. If any of you haven't seen it, then I recommend it. And when something comes with both mine and Compadre's recommendation then you really can't go right.
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Some housecleaning matters. Morrissey will be appearing on some ABC show entitled Jimmy Kimmel Live this Friday night. I could go to the taping, but I have a trip and I prefer to watch from my television. It should be on 12:05 P or 11:05 C.

Also the promotional discount code for ActiveEndeavors.com has changed from COOLHUNTING to "spring". Go figure. They really don't have anything that new or interesting, but you may wanna check it out.

How Can You Top This.

Mom & Dad came for a visit this weekend, and they really know how to pack in a weekend. We didn't miss a beat starting off with a trip to LaLaLing where my mother and I picked up some new gear for my niece, then it was off to the East Side Market with Compadre for one of the largest sandwiches I have ever seen or eaten. I only ate half. Then the gratuitous Ikea run where I picked up a mattress I thought would be more comfortable for the parental units, and we capped off the first evening with a lovely candle-lit dinner at Purgatory Pizza. Supreme.

The next morning saw us at Square One just around the corner from my house, and my mother and I were both taken aback when Moby walked through the door. My mom thought he was a cancer patient, and I told her that he was actually that diminutive normally. Halfway through the meal he got self conscious and had to put on a hat and sunglasses, cuz you know, no one would recognize him then. Following breakfast we were off to South Coast Plaza where I bought a brass ring at YSL, some ashtrays and a picture frame at Hermes, and I really needed some stuff from Sephora, but there was a line, and I wasn't having it. We had a wonderful lunch with Pony at some random Italian eatery, and as soon as I was able to exchange the broken picture frame for one that wasn't at Hermes, we were off to the Farmers Market. We poked around there for far too long, but then we decided to unload our booty and make our way to El Conquistador for dinner. If some of you aren't familiar with El Conquistador it is, as Compadre and I like to say, the gayest gay Mexican restaurant you have ever. Tonight was no exception with a birthday party upstairs, and loud revelers downstairs. My mother ordered a Margarita. Did you get that Compadre? And I just love having dinner with my parents when some hideous mo screams at the top of her lungs "FUCK MY HOLE!" Charming.

The next morning we were off to the Homo-depot on Sunset where my parents insisted I purchase more locks for my windows and doors, and some flowers for the front patio. We didn't spend long there, and had brunch at Los Feliz Cafe, and spent the majority of the afternoon at the Huntington Gardens and Museum. It was much nicer than the last time we went, and we were able to enjoy the Japanese gardens. Quite tranquil when people aren't asking you to take their picture in front of a Bonzai tree. We zipped over to Santa Monica where we were hounded by the staff at Lush. Mama and I gave them their blood money just so they would leave us alone. We braved the boardwalk even with the northern winds, but it was a nice walk, and at least we can say we did it. We had dinner at La Cabana in Venice which was far more civilized than El Conquistador. My mom still ordered a Margarita.

Needless to say I did not get to watch much baseball this weekend which may have been a good thing. The Yankees went 1-2 against the A's and Derek committed 3 subjective errors in the series. Here is where news commentators are being a little too kind since I know for a fact that he committed three of those three errors in one game. And both Mussina and Pavano are on the 15 day DL, which in case you didn't know, essentially means the Yankees are screwed.

And I was completely shocked last night when I found out that some Derek troll blammed my blog with some rant about DJ Stacey Stylez, some pathetic little creature with DJ in front of her name, and a residency half a block from nowhere who was rumored to be getting married to Derek on one blog and one blog only last week. Fortunately I have had the foresight to switch my blog back to private. It was public for 59 hours, and just look what happened. And since it's private again please don't give out to my blog to anyone who doesn't know what incongruent means. But if you have to, certainly not to someone that cops Anonymous D's handle.

In other news, iconic British designer Jean Muir will be closing her doors on April 20th. There is currently a sale that will extend to April 20th, but once the sale ends so does the label. Click here to read further.

And in with the new, Tom Ford has introduced his menswear collection which is about as relevant as a silent butler, but really saucy nonetheless. Ready-to-wear suits start around $3,200 and made-to- measure suits start at $5,000. Click here for some more fo.

And I'm not sure if there is any truth to this, but I heard over the weekend that Prince William and medium time girlfriend Kate Middleton are breaking up. Actually I think it is all over the place true. I guess you could read this article for some more concrete information.

Sorry. That may all be a little bit much to absorb, but it is what's important to me. And if you have a problem with it like Anonymous Derek troll, then why don't you do me a favor and not tell me about it.

I'm Staying Right Here.

Sad news this morning. A fabulous writer, one of my favorites as well as one of Pony's, has died. Kurt Vonnegut Jr. died yesterday as a result of injuries sustained in a fall at his home. I've read several of his books and have enjoyed each one immensely. I've also had many wonderful conversations with many people about his writing. I'm quite pleased that there are so many more of his books I'll be able to enjoy. Kurt Vonnegut Jr. has made an undeniable contribution to the American canon. Click here for more details.

Well enough about that. Mama's gettin herself all choked up. However, there is bad news in baseball as well. Mike Mussina pulled himself (you know because he can do things like that) from yesterday's game and was diagnosed with a strained left hamstring. The bullpen was wonderful, and the Yankees managed to maintain the tie until the 8th when the Twins simply forgot themselves and scored 4 runs. And I can't emphasize enough how classless some of the Twins players acted. Nick Punto especially momentarily forgot about the consecutive pastings they received two days prior and all but danced a jig in front of RoRo. Inexcusable conduct. Derek got on base in the 9th, and it all came down to Jorge, but the Yankees were tired and quite rightly aghast at the conduct of the Twin's players. I think anyway.

This Sunday Derek, Joe Torre and Robbie Cano will all rock the #42 during their game against Oakland to honor the 60th anniversary of Jackie Robinson's debut for the Brooklyn Dodgers. Click here for the fo.


And I guess in kinda news, Opening Ceremony, a New York based retail boutique and designer has opened it's shop in LA. Known for offering selections from relatively unknown (to some) designers from two different countries each season they first came to my attention when they offered my friend's collection. Since then I've watched them grow into a considerable force in the fashion world. I simply don't have time to check out the shop right now, but I will after I get back from the Emerald City. Shop's located at 451 North La Cienega Boulevard. You can browse some Opening Ceremony pieces here at activeendevors.com. Also if you type in promotional code COOLHUNTING you receive 20% off your purchase. Free shipping at activeendevors.com as well.

Hands Above The Fear.

So this is kinda cute-ish so I just went ahead and posted it. Oh and I stopped tormenting myself and just bought those expensive clothes. I think red is going to be my color for the season.

Moon Rise.

I effin love yesnetwork.com! For those of you that don't know, the Yes Network is the Yankees Entertainment Station, and yesnetwork.com is their online presence. I'm really enjoying it as much as mlb.tv not that anyone I know would actually care. They have all the post-game locker room interviews with all the players. Today's favorite interview is with Derek wearing his grandma's coat. Just follow this link and thank me later.

Last night's game against the Twins was a veritable spanking or whatever they call it. The Yankees routed the Twins 10-1 (wasting a lot of homos in the process) and of course RoRo had to homo again, driving in Derek's early single. That's 6 in 7 games in case anyone's counting. Andy was back in force, and some of his pitches just looked otherworldly. I can't believe my spell check knows otherworldly, but doesn't know RoRo. Mussina is pitching tonight, and Hideki is on something called the 15 day DL list.

I'm halfway through my 5 disc 15 hour documentary on the history of Great Britain and my God they have certainly documented a great deal of their history as bloody and barbaric as it is. I had no idea Elizabeth I killed Mary Queen of Scots. No idea whatsoever, but there it was right in front of my nose. And Charles I was beheaded!?!?! By that dude from the Morrissey song?!?!? But I have to get through the remaining two discs cuz Compadre says I'm just gonna love this movie Short Bus, and as I've already indicated, all this baseball is really encroaching on my movie watching time. And I have company coming this weekend, and my monthly trip to Seattle next weekend, and I'm right now fighting the urge to buy some expensive clothes which I've already done once this week. You know it's just all a lot to keep up with.

Compadre and I will be rockin the Farmers Market today. There is a greek veggie platter that is absolutely the best thing I've ever tasted in a styrofoam box.

Favorites From The List

Do I really have to put up with this shit? Here I was minding my own business looking for some stories about yesterday's Yankee's game when I'm slapped directly across the face by this salacious piece of gossip. It seems that mediatakeout.com is reporting that Mr. Jeter may be getting married soon to girlfriend she-male DJ Stacy Stylez. Someone no one has even heard of before. So far mediatakeout.com is the only whatever reporting this news, but they report that they both want it to happen soon because they are hiding something?.?.?.? Whatever. This scenario raises so many questions and incongruities it hardly bears getting into. Click here for the story and pics of Derek's she-male.

The game last night was great. RoRo scored yet another homo-run. That's his fifth of the very young season. Bobby popped his first homo for the season. Don't call me Whitney Bobby. And Derek scored a single, stolen base, and run. All told Derek went 3 for 4 with two runs scored. The stolen base was priceless because Derek just slammed into the poor second basemen knocking him squarely on his ass. Afterwards Derek was hysterical wanting to make sure the opposing player was alright. Like who in their right mind would complain about a Derek Jeter body slam? Honestly. I must have missed the Jonny Damon body slam in the picture above, but whoever he plowed into has a very nice ass when it's upside down.

Derek got a walk since they saw it necessary to hit him with a pitch. Hideki is on the DL with some type of injury. Hideki missed most of last season with an injured wrist. Convalescing basically in time for the playoffs. Carl Pavano pitched last night, and he seems to be getting into his stride. The Yankees won 8-2 BTW. Tonight's game is at 5:10 PST and Andy will be pitching.

That being said, I'm not really sure if I'm going to be able to watch every single game. I mean they are on every frakin night. And they are like 3 hours long, and I may have like some other things to do in my spare waking moments besides watching baseball. But I suppose I'll cross that bridge once I figure out what that might be.

Tormented By Sight.

RoRo just spent the weekend showing off. First, he had a walk off grand slam on Saturday, followed by a 2 run homer on Sunday. That girl is just using up all his homers early in the season and come later it's gonna be tough for him. Predictably, Derek is getting the heat as RoRo garners more supporters. Derek's defensive game is getting back up to par, but the remaining Yankees are in danger of succumbing to injuries and groin pull things. I was having issues with MLB.tv, but I think I've worked them out so I shouldn't be missing too many games in the future. The Yankees are playing the Twins this evening, and I'll prolly cut out early in order to catch the first pitch.

Derek has posted his first journal entry for this season and if you want to read it you can click here. I think I'm the only one that ever reads these things. And by the way, I have no idea why they call it a bullpen.

I hope everyone had a nice Easter. I know I was very lazy and I did absolutely nothing. I did get a call from an exasperated Compadre who was at a barbeque he wasn't completely enjoying. I don't know why. It sounded like everyone was having a good time to me. I try not to acknowledge Christian holidays unless they involve me getting extravagant presents.


Everyone is really excited about the new Fall/Winter 2007 Visvim USA line that is just beginning to leak out of blogs. If you aren't one of the people that is excited then I suggest you get the eff with it. Actually the shoes you see are the only things I've seen from the line that are anywhere close to wearable. If you don't believe me check it out here.

And the venerable house of Dior simply can't get any breaks. First Hedi Slimane jumps ship, then another one of their designers dies of some cardiac arrest drug overdose thingy, and now the Vice President of Dior in Japan has been arrested of all thing on a drug possession charge. Weird. Click here for some info. But I really can't get all worked up about it. I'm having company this weekend, and one of the items I have on our to do list is stepping into the YvesSaintLaurent boutique. And walking out with everything.

Here In This Place.

The Yankees lost something to something I really don't think it matters given the hideous conditions they had to play in. Actually it was a 7-6 loss to the Devil Rays, and it was a victory the Devil Ray's had to work very hard for. Poor Andy didn't quite last 5 innings, and Mr. Torre had to rely on the bullpen which from my perspective is consistently underwhelming, however, I'm not playing the games I'm just watching them.

Derek had an RBI, and Hideki eventually tied the game with a single that scored Derek and Bobby. Don't call me Bobby, Whitney. And then some random players from the opposing team forgot themselves and scored some runs. It was a nightmare. It was so cold in NYC the Devil Ray players were wearing these spooky face masks that completely hid their faces. I think it freaked the boys out. Just a beady set of eyes peering at you from under a hat. I mean how could Andy or Scott be expected to pitch at something like that? There were snow flurries and chilled gusts of wind. And the Yankees had hand warmers in their back pockets so every time there wasn't a play they would stand around with their hands in their back pocket. Honestly, how fucking cute is that? And Robbie... He would hold his glove in his teeth and shove both hands down his pants. He's Dominican you know. And F to the fine.

They charged poor Derek with 2 errors which was way out of line seeing as they are entirely subjective, and it was so cold out. However, the announcers, which I concede are more learned than me, had some very nice explanations for the high error rate that I won't bore you with. Did I mention the fucking hand warmers in the back pockets? Seriously I can't get over how cute they were.

And then Compadre forgot himself and called me in the middle of the eighth inning, but luckily the Devil Ray Fems were batting so it wasn't a crisis. Compadre and I must consult on a potential tattoo. I'm not sure what or where exactly, but I have a strong feeling it will be on my shoulder and look something exactly like this:

Too Queeny...?...?

Last night I dreamt that I lived in Alaska.

Yes I Know You're In Awe.

Yesterday's Yankee game was a rain-out. And for those of you who don't know a rain-out is essentially one of the many petty ways in which the God's conspire in to make my life a misery. Andy was all ready to pitch his breathtakingly sculpted ass off, when the rain just started to fall. No make up game has been scheduled as of yet, but it will most likely be a double-header sometime in the season. Tonight's game is at 4:05 PST, and I haven't decided if I should leave work early in order to catch the opening pitch. I guess I'll just have to come to accept that there are going to be times when I'm not able to give as rich and detailed of coverage as I would like.

In the absence of baseball I've been busy catching up with the latest season of Rome on HBO. I watched the first season without fail, but with everything that has been going on lately I seem to have lapsed for the second season. But the show is amazing, and the particular episode I watched yesterday, although violent, is perhaps the most erotic and titillating episode yet.


Shabbily dressed bloggers and receptionists everywhere are all astir over the opening of Evisu's first North American store. In New York City where everything that's worth anything is forgotten a few minutes later the Evisu shop will make a home in Soho for I'd say a few months tops. It's a bit late for this brand that I've completely lost any interest in. If the Nautica group hasn't bought them out, then I'm sure that day is just around the corner. Click here for some more info.

There was recently an interesting study regarding fashion and trends which suggests the industry as a whole is bogged down by legions of copy-cats, and very few innovators. This seems so patently obvious that it hardly bears mentioning let alone analysis, however, I think the more shocking trend is the ways in which stores copy one another. Almost unconsciously. You walk into any shop on Robertson, Melrose or in Williamsburg or my personal favorite in Ballard and you just see the same old shit. BBlessing, Crate Denim, Kenzo Minami is hottish this year, and don't forget Cheap Monday and Goldsign, and God forbid you forget APC or Rag & Bone. Beards & Bangs & Chimala, Helmet of the Will and United Bamboo. Blah blah it's all just blah. I mean I just see the same old shit in so many stores that when it comes down to it I don't want any of it from any store.

Well...I have no idea where that rant came from, but now you know.

And There's Nothing.

There was a glitch in the Matrix. I work in a rather stuffy place. I have a special scanner card that I need to get into the elevator bays, and also to enter my office. It's quite a bother really, but you know since 24/7 they can't be too careful with our photocopiers and paper clips. Well I was halfway to work, careening through a small tunnel underneath a few miles of earth when I realized my scanner card was not on my person. I had to get off the train, catch a northbound train, and try all of this over again. It was actually kinda a good thing. Little crises like these test my ability to cope, and it's always nice when I come through smelling fresh and tardy.

I honestly tried to stay up and watch American Idol last night, and I made it through half the show before I had to throw in the towel. It was simply endless, and every one of them were singing the exact same song. I couldn't believe it. That's Entertainment?

More baseball today, and I really can't believe that people are already playing the numbers game. I was thinking of waiting til after the game to blog, but that would just be a mind-scramble. Details of todays game will be included in tomorrow's blog.

But I will give you something. These are some shoes that I'm all sorts of excited about. Common Projects shoes. They remind me of a pair of Helmut Lang canvas shoes I have. Which I think they are suppose to. They are exactly like those Helmut Lang shoes. Exactly. Down to every last detail, save one. That's design.

And She Knows.

Opening day of Major League Baseball so why not let the bitching begin. The Yankees beat the Devil Ray Fems 9-5, but lets not dwell on that shall well. First off, they charged both Derek and RoRo with errors and I frankly don't think there should be such thing as errors on opening day. The girls are still warming up and getting their bearings, and the opening ceremonies were a little bit emotional. I think every Yankee played an incredibly strong game, and whoever is responsible, well you know exactly where you can shove those errors.

Most people aren't discussing the errors. People like soon to be ex-son-in-law of George Steinbrenner Steve Swindal are talking crack about how they need more from Carl Pavano, even though it's painfully evident to everyone else that was actually watching the game that he pitched quite well given the errors, and the sloppy fielding generally. He pitched around that is what one of the announcers said. Bravo. Bravo.

Of course the relentless bitches that call themselves Yankee fans were booing RoRo in the fifth inning, but were demanding a curtain call in the eighth inning when he popped a 2 run homer. Idiots. Derek tied the game by swinging at something ugly that was so obviously a ball, and he would've got the walk, but instead patched a 2 run single. God sometimes I have no idea what I'm saying.

Jason, Bobby and Doug all hit well too. Jonny hurt himself, and Melky really needs to lose weight. His sloppy base running basically handed the Devil Rays an easy out. Not good. Not good.

Oh and in the second inning the ass holes hit Derek in the shin with a ball. Wasn't even half a pitch. Everyone here at work was a little startled as I screamed bloody murder at my computer monitor. They can fuck off. For more info on opening day click here.

There's absolutely nothing interesting to note in fashion. Unless you read highsnobiety and get a load of the new Trainspotter Spring/Summer collection which includes, would you believe this, hoodies and graphic tees. Yeah. Uh. It's April. If you just dropping your Spring/Summer line then you might as well not even bother because it's obvious to everyone that you're just not even trying. That and other useless fug is available at Caliroots if you're interested.

No baseball for me today. I have YKyle KY, The Riches, and relentlessly making fun of people that say they like Ugly Betty. They should be pittied I know, but making fun of their fractured psyches has such a nice ring to it don't you think?

Fragments Of Memory

On Friday we had a bit of a scare. Well some people did. I was always safely on the 40th floor of the Wells Fargo Centre. As I was downstairs on the terrace enjoying a cigarette away from the incessantly annoying co-workers of mine I noticed a mushroom cloud rising above the Hollywood sign. I thought "Thank God, someone's finally nuked the Valley." Sadly, it was simply a brushfire caused by two hoodlums playing with fireworks. This picture is taken by some anonymous person on flickr.com who is obviously impressed with such things as smoke and bright colors and shiny things.

On Sunday Compadre and I had to jet over to Ikea. The Burbank one, not the Covina one. There may be something important about Burbank, but I certainly wouldn't know. But it was here that I came to the shattering realization that I wouldn't be getting the new Jumpman Jeter Vitals. Not because they sold out or because I couldn't find them. It's just that they are so completely hideous. As hideous as anything else with the Jordan brand on it. And I just don't think it's me. There are some things I just can't do. Bridges I will not cross. Mayonaises I will not eat. And while perusing the plastic tables at Ikea, Compadre and I had a deep discussion about how it would be preferable to get a new pair of Dior jeans while Hedi Slimane is still working there. For the best really.

I also realized that there is no evil more heinous than an unassembled Ikea bed. Born from the flaming pits of Mount Doom, and arriving in a suction packed box, the lumbering spectre of wickedness known as the Dalsev has now been completely assembled, and is now haunting my bungalow. I always tell myself that I'm never going to buy another piece of furniture at Ikea, and each and every time I just lie to myself. I'm a liar is what I am.

The wait has been tough, at times unbearable. Maybe not so much for Doo. But opening day is finally here. My Yankees will be playing some girls called The Devil Rays today at 10:05 PST. I'm just sitting here on pins and needles. I can't wait until the game is streamed through my interweb. I think I told you all about how nicely the players fill out their uniforms this early in the season. If you have any means of watching the game by all means do. I think some of my co-workers are going to Dodger's opening day. Whatever.