You Say OMG And We Say GFY.

Ooh ooh office holiday party tonight and I really can't tell you how excited I am! If there were a font for sarcasm your face would be full up with it.

Not Good.

Embrace The Austerity.

Everywhere you turn it seems like people are talking about how cold it is. I was fortunate last night to have a nice dinner with friends and play Trivial Pursuits in a toasty yummy smelling kitchen, but this morning's walk to the bus stop expelled all such thoughts and I was feeling ever so fortunate my mom bought me this stupid Psycho Bunny cashmere hat for xmas last year. Such a stupid hat. But warm.

Been listening to news from the Copenhagen Climate Summit. However, as I habitually get weather updates on my Jesus phone I have to say I'm starting to get down with the "deniers". Yeah, they actually call them that. It's tasteless I know, but so is politics. But seriously, it's so cold right now that when someone mentions global warming the first words out of my mouth are "Yes, please!" followed shortly by "if there's anything you can do..."

Make Sure You Cover Every Detail.

It would appear that open warfare has erupted in my kitchen. Internecine and wholesale. For my part this week (it's Tuesday morning) I've taken out a set of serving bowls, my delightful antique Pyrex casserole, and a charming teapot. All with nothing other than exquisitely orchestrated clumsiness. All except the casserole. As whatever or whoever is my witness that thing just exploded right there on top of the stove. I did nothing but set the searing hot thing down and BOOM! It's all a bit too much to take in at once, but thoughts of moving must be creeping in because I seem dead set on destroying everything in my way. Linens, books and some priceless jewelry can be moved with little enough fuss. But when all is shattered and wiped away one is of course left feeling deflated at losing such a precious casserole, but curiously ambivalent about losing a set of square serving bowls. Square serving "bowls". . . Maybe the loss just hasn't hit me yet.

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I don't care how it happens and I don't care when it happens, but it has to happen. I have to have me some Windsor Creed fragrance. Never been a big fan of Creed. Been tempted on many occasions to be sure, but never once gone down that road. They're threatening me with words like "limited run" and "exclusively" but all I hear is "shatterproof" and "awesome"!

The Platform Is Critical.

Had one of the IT guys in the office install the new version of Flashplayer. I made it seem like it was urgent, but I really just wanted to listen to BBC whilst at work so now that that is taken care of I can tune out the babbling of coworkers with news of international conflict. And cricket highlights. People kept talking about Amanda Knox, and since I had spent the entire day listening to the news I was a little embarrassed that I knew nothing of this. Who the hay you say? Some YouDub student did something scandalous while studying abroad oh my. Italian justice system is confused I see. I had to remind a group of outraged citizens that I don't think they execute people or torture them in Italy. Not officially anyway. Just a thought.

Really cold weekend and I was brave enough to get my hair did. Went thrifting and found a fresh vintage Barbour fishing sweater. Heritage much? Longed for some fast and cheap Mexican food and went to this joint called Tacos Gauyamas which was whack. They were rockin’ this FOB vibe that I just didn’t find convincing so close to Urban Outfitters. Anywhere in Seattle actually. Ten dollars for a vegetarian burrito ever so whack! We will never recover from the loss of Taco Bell and Taco Time... Never.

Was excited to tear through the new Country Life. The cover is an advent calendar which just makes me squeak. Actually yes. I’m glad I get this magazine cuz I learn things. Like whatever then hell a stoat is. Quite vicious actually. And a menace.

That Unity Was Always An Illusion.

Absolutely revolting is the best way to describe last night's episode of Bones. And I was watching old episodes of The French Chef beforehand and I can say that Bones was far more disgusting than that butcher Julia. And it was appaling on so may levels. The lowest-serving plug of Avatar story line??? I'm sorry? And who writes this show anymore? The continuity issues that have errupted this season have me almost turning off the dial. I do have many episodes of The French Chef to get through after all. I was going to say something a couple of weeks ago when the appearance of Booth's grandfather turned all sorts of past episodes on their ear. And last night with Bones going on and on about what constitutes a sport after Season One's Superhero in the Alley she dismisses bowling altogether as a sport because "there is no physical benefit, it's an activity". What happened to alter her world view? Did some gaming twits write in? I don't know, nor do I really care. What I can say is that they really do not want Star Trek fans watching their show because we actually pay attention to this crap. Some fans catalogue it. Write books. You know. Sorta make serious work out of it. Something that is clearly becoming all too taxing for the writers of this show.

At least on The Frech Chef Julia doesn't shove her hand into what she precviously called a goose and call it a duck.

There Will Never Be Enough Emptiness?

The short hiatus of Bones episodes is thankfully at an end. New Bones tonight, but if you can believe this a smelly trustafarian looking skin job sat right square in front of me on the bus this morning. Mild odor of urine emanated from him and I was fit to be tied. At first he sat and hung his head in shame (as he should) but then he got bold and whipped his "dreads" back in a dramatic fashion that left me breathless. Literally, since I was too scared to inhale any of the surrounding air. I wasn't even remotely moved.

Episodes like this really make me lose interest in public transportation. Although I always have to look at the positive. Positive being that although I was in the middle of the most delightful passages describing Pricess Mary of Tecks' bridal trousseau (George not Eddy) I had to stop myself, distracted and gasping for urine scented air and teach myself right there on the spot how to take a picture with my Jesus phone and email it to myself. So just look out... I'm now armed and empowered with the ability to photo-document the whackness.

Watching Something Disinitigrate.

Black Friday did me in. And I'm not saying that just to be cryptically anti-consumerist. I mean the great unwashed quite brought me to my knees with a nasty bug. Probably one of those coughing lunatics standing in line outside Juicy Couture. And I'm not kidding. There was a line outside Juicy I just can't say it twice.

Got spendy and went to an outlet mall I did. My bank was so suspicious they put a temporary hold on my card. I had to call and explain to them that Hell in fact had not froze over, I had indeed purchased an RRL henley from the Polo Outlet and they were commanded to undo whatever they had done at once. Despite their unwarranted assumptions, my card was in no sense in the clutches of "hooded thugs". They took exception to this last part, but after the debacle with my last check reorder they are skating on thin ice as it is. I asked the twit to define "suspicious". I took her hesitation as simian like and reminded her that perception is all so commonly influenced by characterization. Quite tarsome to the last.

That little roadblock aside, I quickly pushed aside their nasty flu and am back in fighting spirits ready to attack the holiday season tra la la.

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Derek won something like Sports Illustrated Sportsman of the Year. I just assumed he won this every year so in that sense I suppose it is news.

I’m Not Really The Type To Flinch.

Pony has left the office and who’s to say what I’m going to do on my breaks now!?! Trips to the toy store seem a bit more drear and Jimmy John excursions are out the door. I mean I suppose I could continue to vent, but deep down I know she’s not interested, and I would hate to be a boor. So I guess that’s what this is for.

Some simpering carbie (the same one who asked if my Free City hoodie was some Nordstrom brand knock-off) comes up to me and is all “Oh-Em-Gee and Double-You Tee Eff she’s leaving?” and the look that explodes across my face is indescribable, but it’s a reflex whenever anyone starts spouting off in emota-twit. I try to concentrate on my work (which is considerable) but eventually advise the mono-sylabic babbler that she should find Pony and discuss. Details are always better in the first person don’t you find? My workplace has otherwise devolved into a demented three dimensional obstacle course filled with people in Huskies jerseys and boots yes boots.

Expecting company for the holiday, and my arms are aching from packing 70 pounds of groceries back from the shopping mart. I’m not sure where all this stuff and these people are going to fit, but I’m excited to find out. Rockin’ the chaos and all.

Harvest Festival non-stop yo!