Our Obstacles Are Surmountable On Most Days.

They say this shit always comes in threes and whoever the fuck "they" are "they" are not disappointing any expectations with respect to this.

My Alma Matter was in the Sweet 16 and I barely know what the fuck that even means, but they were playing 3 blocks away from my downtown gig so I went ahead and threw down a few bennys for tickets for me and the boo. I got lost picking up the tickets, implicated some poor Marriott concierge in the process and came back to the office a sweaty pissed-off mess. Getting to the game was easy. Sitting through the game was not. My team not only lost they fell the fuck to pieces right in front of my mother-fucking eyes. The only consolation was that since the seats were so shitty I didn't have much of a view of the fiasco. Not that I could even understand what was going on because it isn't baseball AKA my jam.

No worries, my man. Driving home I know I can grab some Del Taco so ask the boo and the boo is like "Or maybe EPL" and for those of you who, like me, don't know what the boo was fucking talking about, that is El Pollo Loco and I am like sure, fine whatever, however, secretly delighted when the EPL is closed because it's so god-damned late.

So we hit the DT on Sunset, it's raining and some fool has tied up their dog in front of the DT and the poor thing is shivering and shaking and whimpering and I am just seeing red. I am sure I am about to flounce into this DT and make myself a right scene, but the boo cautioned against, and I heeded the boo, but I gave stares. Oh the fuck did I ever throw eyes up in that joint like which one of you depraved mother fuckers dragged your dog to DT just so you could tie it up and leave it shivering in the rain while you plow carne asada down your fat hole? Which one of you fuckers indeed?

I assumed it was the douche-sack in the $900 Fear of God hoodie. He's obviously overcompensating for something, but I was wrong.

Some gentleman finally comes into DT and loudly proclaims that there is a "Dog tied up outside" and while he is all doing his angry-black-man-on-a-mission routine I just shout "Thank you sir!", but it turns out that all he is worried about is the dog biting someone. At this point I think the dog should bite someone because humanity is fucked and there ain't no amount of crunchtada tostadas in the world to make me forget that fact.

It made me upset to say the least, but I got home and was in the middle of doing my at-home business when I get a text or 20 something million about the closing of the Craigslist personals site. Like WTF?!!? Where I have gotten my last 30 or so hook-ups Craigslist personals. My last 12 shitty blow-jobs?!!?!? Gone. Wiped off the face of the internet and I am like this shit is so totally fucking done. America. It has been real, but that is some messed up shit you find in Saudi Arabia or China and I have no time for that nonsense.

pass the popcorn.