A Life Devoted To Denial.

On a Sunday almost too real to be fucked up I wait for the train at Santa Monica and Vermont because life is fucked up and here I am working on a Sunday. The train finally arrives and low and behold there isn’t a single seat in the carriage. On a Sunday. This shit should be desert town, but no, it was standing room only and anyone sitting was a filthy homeless vagrant. Over plump, never underfed like only the best of entitled American homeless. Some of them belching last night’s beer into the air. It smelt rank and I was quite certain I had caught tuberculosis by the time we had reached Wilshire and Vermont. The doors could not let in enough air to dissipate the stench so overpowering it was. 

One man got on at Westlake and Macarthur Park and just said out loud ‘WHAT THE HOLY FUCK!’ as he saw what was going on. He hadn’t figured it out as I had. They were shipping all the homeless away from the precious Oscars. The precious pretty Oscars that they still managed to fuck up. Of course they had to inconvenience every single resident within a 30 mile radius. The Hollywood/Highland Metro station was closed Sunday and Saturday so if you had a mind to hit Sephora or Fredrick’s of Hollywood you were just out of luck. And they couldn’t even get the movie right. So silly. But that is something one just rolls with I suppose when one works on a Sunday in Hollywood.

There Will Never Be Forever.

As if shit in the real living universe weren't trying enough the business at the office is just getting far to real for my constantly frayed nerves. The spastic K-Bot that I have to work near is constantly tunneling the depths of just how desperately stupid a person can become. I believe we had a half hour conversation yesterday about how she didn't like people to talk about 'teachers' around her. Most of the time was spent with me trying to convince her that at any given time no one is going to give a shit about what her precious expectations and desires are, and more often than not if they understand those desires most people will work to thwart them because people are just fucked up like that.

And the pallid insolent one is all I can call him. I can't even formulate words at the moment to describe that shit show.

And on the subject of shit shows. Walking to work this morning, out of the corner of my eye and I have no idea how I missed it while it was in my direct line of site, there was a woman, bent over and pissing on a tree. Like a mother fucking fountain. You could have knocked me over with a feather. I think I didn't notice her while I was walking towards her because she just looked like a hunched over unhoused wretch from the front. It was only from the side that the poor creature took on the aspect of a demented water feature.

That's fucking my life there.

The Lords Must Never Be Reformed.

My life is destined to be an unrelenting struggle against people who simply refuse to act normal and insist on riding their bicycles every fucking where they go.  I think it is simple. If you are above the age of 14, then you are above the age where is appropriate to be seen, 1.)Wearing shorts in public, and 2.) Riding a bicycle in public. I mean there are childish annoying bitch ass things you can get away with because you are young and supposedly just don’t know any better and then there is dragging your bike through a line at the coffee shop because arrested development just took its hold 20 years ago and you surrendered to substance abuse and yoga to get you through the shame quite some time ago.

And I quite understand this whole trend  of Ubering or Lyfting to work. Public transport can be such a bore, and today the train was monstrously late so I really started to question the wisdom of my life choices. I have $50 worth of Lyft rides to burn through and I’m sure I can find a similar deal on Uber so in addition to just annoying myself into a lather I am, at this point, just wasting money.

I Will Consume Your Everything.

I tweet raged myself into sweet blind delirium Saturday morning. The idea of losing electricity and hot water of all things over an inconsequential amount of rain was quite simply something I could not cope with, and I mean that in any reasonable sense of the word ‘cope’.

Once I realized that the power outage  would extend until Saturday afternoon I decided to retreat to the library to at a minimum ‘charge my devices’ because, ‘My God, how long could this last?’

At the library I got hassled by the man, or in this case a woman in a uniform. After having streamed all the programs I had missed from the evening prior I was surfing the web and topping off my French lessons when the officer told me that the lingering ice cubes from my iced espresso and Cliff bar wrapper were quite against Library policy. When I motioned her towards my neighbor’s half consumed 40 ounce bottle of malt liquor she just shrugged like, ‘They’re not you.’

This must be where America’s white anger comes from I realize as I bound up my wrapper and plastic cup and ready myself for the trip back to Hollywood.

Luckily when I did return to Hollywood the power had returned and I could get back to indulging whatever appetites I felt like at the moment. Craigslist, Grindr, the leather bar down the street? Somehow I settled on Season One of The Expanse as well as the PBS special Royal Wives at War. Stunning. 

You Said You Would Never Leave.

I’ve already slept in. I’ve already almost fucked up the entire day. I actually decide to not even make an attempt at living anything approaching a normal life. I’m actually on the subway platform. I have actually paid for my ride downtown. There was no other moment earlier where this could have fucking occurred to me, but yes, I have forgotten my security badge. Why the fuck fuck fuckity fuck do I have a job that requires redundant security?

Yes, I could text Elizabeth, the spastic Korean girl who can barely keep her shit together and hope that she is in the office and able to assist, and then I realize, I have only befriended the one spastic Korean girl in the office. This is the only other hope I have of gaining access to the 8^th floor. Or is it the 4^th. It’s was fucking Friday ago how am I supposed to remember fuck you I am not here to be judged.

I’ve learned a new word, and it isn’t even noon. ‘Gallimaufry’, look it the fuck up. I had to, but this is the shit I do. Just tumbling through space and time, I learn shit, I  know things, and I impart that shit on to others. For those that care to listen. So there you are. All imparted and shit.