What's This About A New Way?

Anywhere

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Life Without Something.



Sorry for the blog explosion, but I came home from work and I discovered that I had finally received my bottle of Derek's Driven* along with my complimentary cosmetics bag for being one of the first 100,000 purchasers.

All I can say is goodness. It is a little bit of a challenging scent I must say. Lately I have been wearing Avignon from Comme des Garcons as well as Skai from Comme des Garcons (Thank you Pony). I dabble a bit with YvesSaintLaurent's NU as well as single notes of Lotus Flower and Vetiver, but this, THIS, is a fruity I'm gonna have to get used to. At first it comes across like Issey Miyaki which I have no time for, but grows into something more akin to Escape which makes me weak.

Did I say it came with a complimentary cosmetics bag!!!

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* This doesn't mean that Driven has been taken off the Xmas list. I'm gonna be rockin this shiz so hard people are gonna feel my Drive before the smell it. God that sounded lamer.

If You Understand That, Then You Weren't Paying Attention.



17 Degrees In Seattle.
My Bus Didn't Come. I Waited 40 Minutes.
Had To Come Home To Get Warm And Drink Tea.
Thought I would Blog.
This Is Not A Haiku.

Took An Earlier Flight Which Nullified My Return Flight.
I Didn't Know This.
Jacquie (I only wish I was joking about the spelling of her name) Explained This To Me Rudely.
I Went Ape Shit On Jacquie.
Embarassed For Myself And Humanity. I Rented A Car To Drive Back To Seattle.

And that's when all hell broke loose. The road between LeGrande Oregon and Pendleton Oregon was closed for two hours. I "ate" at a Denny's in LeGrande. When they opened the road it was a 5 MPH drive over the Blue Mountain Pass behind a stream of semis and other cars that lasted 2 and a half hours. Once over the pass I saw a Lexus SUV that was obliterated, and got word Snoqualmie Pass was closed. Drove all the way to Portland, then north to Seattle. The 500 mile drive only took 14 hours.

Moving to LA on Friday and how in the hell that's going to happen is anyone's guees. Upward and onward.

CandyFlash


So on Thanksgiving morning I seem to be the only one in the house that is awake. I stepped outside and I could hear the Owls and the Coyotes. Spooky. Where are you at anyway. I've spent the last 24 hours trying to keep up with all the latest gossip, and so as far as I can see Lindsay Lohan is an incomprehensible fool, but that of couse is neither news nor gossip, it is a fundamental scientific principle. Sorta like evolution provided you aren't Christian or stupid.

Speaking of fundamental truths. I wanted to actually publish this post on Thanksgiving morning, but I wasn't able to thus demonstrating all the ways that blogger sucks in every significant way. Shopping for a new host. Any ideas? .Mac it may be.

And as for Michael Richards, all I can say is that there is some point where old guys should stop doing comedy routines because their lives stopped being funny a long time ago, and since that isn't about to change any time soon it is best not to leave your self esteem on a stage for someone to throw rocks at. Something may snap! And it looks like it did. I won't link you to the youtube footage because it upsets me. Even more than the racist UCLA security grunts. But as bad as the RUSG's are they paile in comparison to the comments left by Joe six-sided die.

But the real and only reason I'm blogging on this most glorious of ambivalent days is to share with you the trailer for the latest Harry Potter movie. It looks spooky! And cool! But no one I'm with even knows who Deumblydore is so I thought I would share it with somone that cares. But you prolly already seen it, and if so I apologize for wasting your time, but it is after all your time to waste Enjoy.

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PS. Derek was robbed just as plainly as Lafayette and Thomas Jefferson robbed the French. It is a miscairage of something, and since I feel I'm the only legitimate sports writer covering Yankeedom, I'm affraid I'm going to have to insist that I be allowed to vote next year. And if it happens again, then I'll have to insist that I'm the only one allowed to vote. Everyone's a VIP to Somebody.

And speaking of VIP, Derek apparently thinks that not winning the MVP gives him the right to have public sex with a mega-hoochie at the Getty. Which it very well may. But to actually be approached by security after being robbed so stupidly by some sports writing troglodites is simply beyond. If Derek wants o grease himself in chicken fat and slide through the antiquities exhibit so be it. Yes. I don't think I would have a problem with that.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Fountain Screw Dumb Ephasia.



It would be an understatement to say that I've had a rough week, and that I'm looking forward to another couple of rough weeks of transition, but I was really really looking forward to Derek winning the MVP, and I'm not really sure why, I just thought it would be some good news or someting positive and somehow removed from Madonona's personal psychosis, but it just didn't happen. The limits of style.

I would link you to the news article, but trust me they are abundant, and I won't bother linking you to any of the nasty blogs dismissing Derek as a know-it-all cock slinger. You can find it on your own even if you aren't looking.

It's funny. I think I blog about baseball more during the off season. Justin Morneau won the MVP and I think he may be Canadian.

I'm officially on some sort of pre-determined holiday block of time so I may cool it with the blog for the time being, then i'll be moving, but I'll try to keep my whereabouts and doings known.

Pony seems to think that she's doing something called a 5K, and I think she may have lost her mind, but I haven't spoken to her yet, and I doubt I will before the big day so everyone please think good thoughts for our Trottin Little Pony on Thanksgiving.

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PS: JWalker, yes I'm just picking up at my old job. They need somebody, and I need to get outta Seattle during the rainy months.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

You Only Feel It Once



So this business about Derek and this Jessica Biel character is just a sordid little nightmare I'm sure. I wasn't sure who she was until I realized she was the character I liked least in that movie Rules of Attraction where she banged like half the football team before marrying a Senator. It would be too easy to say anything snide, and although it is painful to say anything positive I do have to say I hope Nick Lachey's ass tastes like crow.

On a totally unrelated note, I'm going to be living in sunny Los Angeles for the next little while. I'm still going to have my place in Seattle, but it will be vacant for significant periods of time so if anyone is going to be visiting Seattle and wants a cheap furnished place to crash in the heart of the city (Sorry no cable or internet) then let me know and Anonymous D and I will get the paperwork settled.

Phone number stays the same!

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Ellen Ripstein Is A National Treasure.




It's pretty safe to say that bull shit like this* pisses me off like no other. And there is really no need to comment on the time other than to say there indeed are things that keep me up at night. I mean these two men are icons. Emblematic of everything beautiful and homoerotic in baseball and then this. This! Did I mention it's from a website called drunkathletes at something dot something. Oh yes.

Maybe I should start trolling Convention Center Courtyard Mariotts and gross overpopulated destination zones. Seems like that's the only scene with meaning for the Fake and Detatched.

I watched the movie Wordplay, and if you really want to understand the title of today's blog you'll check it out.



There will be no more pictures of these two....

Together is the new alone.



The Gary Manuel Aveda Institute was bumpin yesterday morning. Just try to imagine five preened robo-ditzes attempting to operate five Imacs** and you'll begin to realize why I had to wait 25 minutes to purchase Chamomile Shampoo. And why they're replacing their glass door with something I can see.



I want a frigate.

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* BSLT
** Sad Macs

Monday, November 06, 2006

San Francisco Values vs. ( boo! )




So my decision to move to Seattle was based on several independent factors and to be fair the weather was one of them. You may remember something about the heat. The white heat. Everywhere so white.

Well the 10 day rain forecast has put some things in perspective. And the ten days of rain forecast is nothing like the twelve days of christmas. It's not festive or charming and it doesn't rhyme. It's just 10 days of humdrum rain. So when I sit in my office and talk to the paralegal, the one with the wide crossed eyes like someone has just struck her in the head with something and I can see the water sheeting down the side of the building and by all accounts this might be the end of the world, but then I remember my very special friend Mary. Mary keeps me sane.

And while I'm on the topic of sanity, the title of today's blog is taken directly from GOP talking points. Yes, faced with the fear of a Democratic house and Nancy Pelosi as a potential speaker the Republicans have a new battle cry. "San Francisco values vs. insert whatever hysterical propaganda designed to instill fear in the hearts of homophobes everywhere here" is their mantra. And putting aside the latent homophobia that these comments are intended to elicit from people in Kansas, I'm a little surprised that the people at National Propaganda Radio (NPR) didn't at least comment on it. But instead they addressed a Republican Cal professor and asked him whether this was a means of questioning whether someone that represents such a liberal district as San Francisco is an appropriate speaker. Really?!?! Is that what people in Colorado are suppose to think when they hear this? Are they even familiar with the San Francisco municipal code? Or does the name San Francisco conger up something else. Something swishy, Something pink, something bath-house-ish, something gay marriage associative, something bad AIDS joke from the 80s related, something from Eddie Murphy's RAW perhaps? I won't poke fingers, but I will vote tomorrow. Vote that crazy ass liberal Jim McDermott back into office. I saw my representative Jim walking down Pike Street while waiting for my bus. Have you ever seen your representative walking through a crowded bus-stop? It's OK if you say no cuz like I said their were multiple independent factors behind my decision.

Onto music. The French Kicks do not interest me in the least. I'm not sure why I wanted this disk, but it was used and I picked it up, and it is nowhere near as foul as Grizzly Bear, but the problem is that it all sounds like a Walkmen song. The same Walkmen song. And I already have that song. And some good Walkmen songs as well.

However, Johaan Johannsson's ibm 14cI, a users manual is another story altogether. You may remember that I had been looking for some of his music, and was disappointed by Amoeba. So I'm not familiar with his work short of some production he has done for fellow Icelanders Stilluppsteypa. But this album is achingly gorgeous, and is as mesmerizing as his reputation suggests, and after only 4 listens this album is being placed on the shortlist along with Taylor Deupree's Northern for album of the year. It's just my short list. Nothing formal or important.

And lastly, Driven will not be released until the end of the month, but I did find this cute article with Derek talking about his perfume. You should read it cuz Derek likes perfume, thinks you can never be over-dressed (he's so wrong on that point), and doesn't like to wear too much make-up. it's like we were separated at birth. Separated after they pried baby Jeffrey's baby hand from baby Derek's baby penis.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

The Pain In Your Eyes




I was finding my work situation a little challenging so I decided to take off early and write some things of note. No need to worry I looked fantastic today. No it was just a simple issue of a seething ginormous paralegal. And of course I can't say anything. That would be inappropriate. I am neither large or a paralegal. Anyway...

This weekend I picked up some pretty tempting music. Jan Jelinek's Tierbeobachtung picks up where Kosmischer Pitch left off. Artfully crafted loops and chirps that develop into an overall compelling albeit sterile listening experience. Jelinek's last two albums have not really grabbed me like Loop Finding Jazz Records or his work as Farben, however, Tierbeobachtung warrants several listens before a final judgment can be reached. P.S., Tierbeobachtung means Animal Observation, and Kosmischer Pitch means cosmic something. Pitch isn't a real German word, just a backwoods patois.

I also picked up Luomo's Paper Tigers, and I have to say that of the two this one has really grabbed my attention and isn't letting go. Eschewing microhouse, house, and dance music generally to create an album that has all the indicia of dance music, but is far more engaging and easier on the ear during a casual listen. I don't know, I think Stylus referred to it as coffee table music, and the twit at cokemachineglow actually used the term hermeneutics in his review. It's clear that the writer has no clue what it means, but he read a book that used the word. It was a book I belive on Critical Native Theory which I'm sure he has no concept of, but face it people that write music reviews and talk about the books they read are burdened with an insecurity that I could never even fathom.

While at work I was reading up on John Kerry's comments about education and ending up in Iraq, and I nearly blew a gasket when I read what the seeting GOPs had to say about it. The simple fact of the matter is that for a growing number of people there only post secondary options are to study hard and pray for a scholarship, or join the military and see what happens. However clumsy Kerry's words may have been he is at a minimum touching on an issue that I rarely hear discussed yet concerns me. The socio-economic stratification that allows are military to grow endlessly. Of course the GOPs would never address this issue because they need people to be poor in order to fund the military bank, but insted of calling them poor people that have no choice and eventually get shafted by the gov when they lose a limb, they call them heros. And any type of discourse a shade away from "Military as Heroes" is stifled. So since we can only speak of our military in one way there is very little point to talk about it at all, and in effect the GOPs have come out and said "No Talking About The Military." There is no need to examine it. Criticiem is unpatriotic, as is discourse, and reasoned thought, and thinking, and Vivienne Westwood. I wrote to the Washington Post, NPR, FoxNews, and some others and tried to explain this position to them, but my thought will not be published for reasons articulated above and are also readily apparent in todays news. Bottom line, what Kerry said is unsettling to many, but it isn't unsettling because it isn't true.

Monday's news of Ryan and Reese breaking up nearly did me in. I immediately added Cruel Intentions to my Netflix queue, but already there is a wait for that movie. Boo!!

Also it's Novemeber, and I don't seem to have me a bottle of Driven, and I do believe I was promised such an item. Representations were made, but how the frak would I know. I'm not a paralegal.