There Are Some Things We Never Mention.

Well the girls did not have a good night. Which isn't to say it was a bad night. Michael pitched as well as could be expected. RoRo hit something like his 519th career homo to no effect. Kyle Farnsworth wasn't completely ineffective despite his newly acquired and unfortunate hair don't. There was some unpleasantness in the sixth inning which we simply won't mention, but eventually the girls stood aside in a 5-2 loss to that Canadian team. Canada, so far from God, yet so close to America.

And I had a bone to pick which has essentially turned into a policy. I was upset that mlb.tv would not cut out God Bless America from their broadcast. And it wasn't that they didn't cut the pathetic song, rather they left it conspicuously present. Cutting away moments before the final note had ended. So I decided that from now on whenever I'm watching baseball or attending a game I'm going to play or sing God Save The Queen instead. I mean both songs are rubbish. Fanciful, cloying, nationalistic, jingoistic, God spewing rubbish, but I'm simply partial to God Save The Queen1, and for reasons I'm about to get to it seems the most appropriate song for baseball.

Paul O'Neill really is the biggest queen this side of the Faultline. I brushed it off last year as simple minded ignorance, but no one could be that patently obvious without actually intending something. There are the constant teasing and mincing comments about players and coaches that always underly a perception of femininity or at best lack of machismo, the ignorant comment about Derek's flirtation with cross dressing on SNL, and there's the accent which is unmistakable, but who honestly refers to a bunch of Canadians as young strong pitching studs? Who? A cock hungry pussy bitch power bottom that's who. I mean he could include the words sculpted, smooth, hard and toned and at this point it wouldn't even raise an eyebrow. I think they're all gay for that matter. And who could blame them. Who else spends more time with sweaty men in the gym than the staff at Micky's? Well no one obviously, but you have to tip your hat to major league baseball players for at least giving it a shot. Fems!
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* God save our gracious Queen

Long live our noble Queen,

God save the Queen:

Send her victorious,

Happy and glorious,

Long to reign over us:

God save the Queen.

O Lord, our God, arise,

Scatter her enemies,

And make them fall.

Confound their politics,

Frustrate their knavish tricks,

On Thee our hopes we fix,

God save us all.

Thy choicest gifts in store,

On her be pleased to pour;

Long may she reign:

May she defend our laws,

And ever give us cause

To sing with heart and voice

God save the Queen.*