I Would Have Thought You Were Invisible.

The Gas Company Cafeteria used to be one of my favorite joints for lunch. Used to. All the salad you can fit into these plastic carry-alls for 6.49. Yeah I said all the salad you can fit. Makes Subway look like a haven for demented profligates. So I skipped over there yesterday to grab some salad. Must have been 2:00 on the dot and when I went to scoop some greens into my plastic carry-all I noticed there were no tongs. Then I noticed this overfed lady packing up all the merch. Whoa, I said. Are you packing up? And she just stared at me for a while with this appalling expression and I stared back in bewilderment until finally she said, rather rudely, "Yeah".

I was peckish, and unnerved so forgetting my unflappability for a moment I just dropped my plastic carry-all in the middle of the floor and said "Oh no." I started to walk away and she told me there were some hot salads left. By hot salads she meant some greens with purpleish roast beef piled onto it. I just shook my head and said no thank you. I was about to pick up what I had dropped, but then I thought no, if you want to close at some weird hour in the middle of the day some of us like to call lunch that is all sorts of your business, but when asked a simple question do not for a second entertain the thought of looking at me like you be some kind of constipated farm animal. Just don't. And now pick it up! I'm going to La Salsa bitch.
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The Hells Angels are suing Alexander McQueen on the grounds that they would like a little publicity. Not sure when the courts became a PR conduit, but I see that they have.