We Would Never Wear Something Like That.

Every ping from my mobile phone indicating a new message in one of my numerous linked inboxes sends me into sheets of panic. I received an email from a recruiter in Seattle asking if I was available and like a ninny I said yes. Well actually, like a ninny I said no, then looking at myself and my surroundings I corrected myself. Of course I'm available. What does organizing not your best china but your second best everyday china constitute if not being imminently available and in need of a project.

I'm hoping that my moment of hesitation is enough to get me out of it. I mean I wouldn't mind a few weeks in Seattle. Staying at a B&B, working in the clouds with people who name drop people you have never heard of. Walks to work with the craziest and smelliest homeless people this country has to offer, and shopping amongst the most entitled undereducated white kids this side of Austin. It could be nice, but the stress would be incredible. And I know how these things go. I will get an email on Friday night wanting to know if I can start on Monday morning, and no sooner advance notice would be given. That is the single best possibility I could hope for short of them not contacting me at all.

So every infuriating ping of my phone is a small moment of dread where I have to contemplate my life being turned upside down. I think I might be safe, but I also know enough to start looking for Amtrak tickets and if that doesn't work, Christ forbid, a flight on American airline of any sort.

By the way, 'sheets of panic' is not an actual expression. I just made it up.