You Might Have A Dream, We Have A Purpose.

Ball players are bound to have what one would ordinarily describe as "extreme views". Luke Scott of the Devil Sprays and currently on a rehab stint in single A somewhere for example is what is affectionately called "A Birther."

What is A Birther you might ask? Well you might, and we would nod off because it really doesn't  interest us in the slightest. An informed view, a little perspective, and then suddenly and without warning nothing is allowed to interfere with the joyousness of our lives. And you could seriously eat a steak off his ass.

I'm off the vacation, and currently spending my days surrounded, I mean encompassed by people who get themselves just worked up into a state over this and that. It makes our head spin sometimes. The conversations skirt closely to something relating to the best pizza in New York, or the best burger on the westside. Shit people who write crappy articles for Details talk about.

Do I care what you think about macrobiotic food? Are your views on Italian tailoring significant to my worldview? Do I even drop words like "sartorial" in daily conversation? No. Don't be tedious and ridiculous in the same breath, and try getting a tan while we're on the subject of your overwhelming character flaws.

Do whatever you want, but just don't test me. If the mood takes me I can argue, quite convincingly, that monumental douche-licks like Luke Scott are the only thing keeping the social fabric together. I'm that devastating. And I'm waiting.