It's Deafening.

If you are like me you probably had just a devil of a time picking out just the right holiday gifts. Or like me you've been enraged by contemptuous North Jersey Bitches that call to tell you that although they have your item in the size you want they don't have it in the color and the colors they do have are simply 3 shades of unfortunate mess. Never mind the fact that it took them 7 days to get back to you with this very pertinent information, and it is way way past the threshold for even ordering one of the unfortunate color mess items and having it delivered in time for Christmas. I scream at North Jersey Bitches, then I give up.

All I can say is thank fucking God for Google video. I was trying to round out the last part of my day yesterday when I happened upon some interviews that I feel are the perfect presents for my readers.

I know many of you merely indulge my penchant for baseball and many of you actually do a good job of appearing convincing, and that being the case you probably don't give a fig about my Christmas present to you, but all I can say is that it's the thought that counts. And unless something really miraculous happens in the interim this will be my last entry for 2006. Happy Holidays everyone:

I have to warn you that this may be a little hard to watch. It was for me. This is Derek's interview following the Yankees ALDS Game 3 loss to the Tigers. And the cheating Kenny Rogers. Derek didn't know that Kenny was a cheating creep during this interview, but this interview should be watched by everyone (like my brother) who thinks Derek is a (Jesus I don't even wanna right it) "a cocky ass hole."

OK so these are seeming a little less like Christmas presents and more like torture. This is Derek's interview following the Yankees ALDS elimination. It's heartbreaking, but it looks like Derek coped with it a lot better than me.

This is a more recent interview following the release of Driven, and that unfortunate business with Jessica (Beard) Biel and I think I like this one the best. It's not as sad as the other ones. Derek's shirt is just a wee bit sad though.

OK, so I like this interview because RoRo doesn't know what preemptive means. Not that it's funny. RoRo is good at a lot of things and knowing big words Just isn't one of them. Big Whoop. Some might say that hitting into a double play is perhaps his specialty, but those people are just Surly Sallies. I actually admire RoRo for not pretending to know what it means and then blather on like a numbskull. Lawyers do that a lot. Even when I make up words, they don't even bat an eye. That shit wouldn't fly with RoRo no siree.

One thing even Surly Sallies, North Jersey Bitches, et. al. and I can agree on is that Google video is the best thing that happened to me yesterday. Actually the North Jersey Bitches would probably say it's only the best thing to happen if it comes in yellow and on December 29th.

Over and out.