Because We're Trash.

I’ve been burgled. I’ve been burgled by someone with exceptional taste although that could be said of anyone who chooses to burgle me over the person hence.  They took a bottle of Philosophy shampoo and a (I don’t believe I even have the strength to type these words) highly collectible Star Trek USS  Grissom micro machine. I quite nearly called the police on the spot. I wasn’t able to have my morning bath I was in such a state. I showered which isn’t the same and I don’t know if I will make it through my afternoon bath or if I will have to interview detectives. Why would they take the Philosophy shampoo and leave the Ambrosia shaving cream? is possibly the most obviously inane question I’m anticipating.

One hopes it was just a gust of wind that pried my screen open and the missing items just flew down the wind shaft. The winds were quite parful last night. At one point I had to close all my windows against their fury. I then ate a hunormous plate of freedom fries and mustard and the promptly passed out and forgot all about the bathroom window so maybe, just maybe, there is hope.

I capped all this off with being voluntarily robbed at the Starbucks across the street in the underground dungeon food court. I don’t know why I do it to myself. I had a ticket out of here. Straight back to Seattle for overpriced albeit delicious coffee served with heaps of hipster condescension. Might beat fighting these Santa Ana wind cat burglars.