Waiting For The Necessary Encouragement.

You wouldn't think you would need to advise people on Metro appropriate clothing, and you certainly wouldn't think you'd have to give advice to a young mother, but apparently the general feeling going around seems to be that if you can't see it, it doesn't exist.

Popping off the Metro yesterday I immediately find myself walking on the platform behind a bigger woman in a light, short and flowing dress pushing a stroller. I thought fine. No problem. She's pushing that thing pretty fast the poor thing will probably never see its third year. No need to go around them. As the train left the platform the usual jet stream was generated creating a gust of air which is always somewhat refreshing in such dank and dark environs.

Well before I knew it the back of this woman's dress was blown up almost over the top of her head and I got, you guessed it, a face load of ass. Jiggly, ripply, troddling on without a care in the world ass. I immediately wheeled around on my heels and looked at something in the other direction. Like the air. How it looks so much better looking this way than that. One really doesn't take enough time in the day to appreciate all the air that is around. In all its glorious invisibleness unlike the ass I just got an eye full of.

I sheepishly made my way to the other side of the platform and made my way out the long ass-less way out. No it wasn't the way I needed to go, but sometimes you just have to make these sacrifices for the greater good. But as I was walking out of the station I began to shudder because it suddenly occurred to me. That woman probably sat down on the Metro train....

This is why I think they need to replace all that occupied Poland 1938 'If You See Something, Say Something' signage with something a lot cleaner, simpler and with a far more important public safety message:

Undergarments Are Not Optional On Metro!