The Life Vegan.

Frustration with lunch options in downtown Los Angeles isn't just for vegans. Anyone with a modicum of taste and a need for sustenance will find the entire landscape of SoCal lacking for any meal really. Yeah, we have like the most awesome food trucks I hear, which are basically a meta-lame ironic hipster way of owning a business and paying no tax to big guvment?, fancy, but they are, have been, and are gonna kinda stay, played out.

So I've been hooking it up in the kitchen lately, and bringing some of my more delicious leftovers to the office with me. And it's always nice to answer questions from workplace fatties wanting to know if I'm worried if I'm getting enough of this, or if I might be suffering from a deficiency of that. Seriously priceless. Whatever I may be lacking in Beta-whatevers I more than make up for in colossally misplaced concern and inappropriate invasiveness.

I really am learning how to hold my tongue though, or perhaps I'm just stuffing it with food all day I don't know. But the weekends are when I can break out, experiment, or bake even if I'm feeling super ambitious.

Saturday was a bad day. I don't think we can avoid saying it. There was a monstrous cretinous 'security guard' at Big Lots who completely ruined our trip to Big Lots, I mean from the moment we walked in the door, ruined. This gangly absurd son-of-a-bitch called me 'man' at first I thought he was being cute and said 'ma'am', he wanted me to 'check my bag' with the cashier, and the thing came perilously close to touching me. I was incensed, having positively none of it.

I wheeled around on my heels and headed to HWood where things move a little bit more normal, but I consequently had to mine the pantry to get my fill yesterday. This is what happened:

Curried blackened tofu steak. Or is it blackened curried tofu steak? Who really knows? Delicious. Basically the same little spice package you might work up for your tofu scramble, sluice your tofu steak in all that business, and fry, fry fry. Coconut, peanut, or in this case good old fashioned EVO, served with those knee bucklingly delicious hash brown patties on the only china I haven't managed to break yet. Kate Spade, or something my mother couldn't resist buying me. The hash patties are my newly discovered carb bombs for early morning fuel, but the steak just answers the question: Where's my protein?

Always at a loss at what to do with that huge pound of seitan you made? No probably not. That's generally just a problem I have, but look what I up and did? I kinda solved it by keeping myself stocked with a head of lettuce, and some bread, and those ridiculously cheap Roma tomatoes, and this SLT/seitan lettuce tomato sammy is my new weakness. Lashings of Colman's mustard are in no way optional. I confess I downed a bag of tapatio Ruffles with this bad boy. Probably not vegan though. Colored with crushed insect eggs or something ridiculous one suspects. Whatever. Sue one.

Being an upstanding free thinking human being I don't really need a lot in the way of carbs after 3:00 in the afternoon. Tea basically rounds it out so this protein bomb TVP vegan chili garnished with avocado and green onion is just what those late night Secrets of the Nazi Occult documentaries call for. And a nice warm blanket cause some of that shit is seriously spooky.

 Night.