How Many Days Left.

It takes a very small chunk of a vegan upside down pineapple cake to make me decide I want nothing to do with being a responsible adult.

I stumble downstairs, hungover with a splitting headache. I pour the coffee that is waiting for me. I toast a bagel and slather it with vegan cream cheese (something no law firm has ever offered me in ever), capers and anything else in the refrigerator I can lay my grubby hands on. I mumble something about loving pineapples and pineapple cake. I point to a picture of a pineapple then go back to my room, plug into the internet and spend hours looking through someone's private emails. Several hours later an aroma permeates the house and I decide that the outside of my room may not be as scary as it seems. Then it is waiting for me. What mom made for me just because I said I wanted it. And it doesn't end there. It doesn't even begin there. Homemade biscuits and vegan gravy, navajo tacos with homemade guacamole. I haven't seen a block of tofu in weeks and I feel fine. My childhood home is literally where vegans go to retire and get fat.

Working two jobs from my adolescent bedroom, the Depeche Mode and Morrissey posters have been replaced with muted tones and sensible decor, but here I remain and then someone calls and tells me I should move back to LA and take on the mantle of a responsible legal professional? No offense but you are absolutely and entirely fucking crazy. And while we're on the subject I have been awake for almost an hour, I've downed the coffee that was waiting for me, but I haven't had my bagel yet so fuck off. I may go thrifting on my 'lunch break'. Yesterday I went to Ross and bought some Reeboks because I can and because New Balance supports Republican candidates that promise them military contracts to make boots for soldiers.

Bliss may be a state of mind or it may be something more profound, but until you bite into vegan upside down pineapple cake I'm not entirely sure you have the perspective I care about.

I really think my mom wants me to grow up and do shit and be productive and shit, but before I go and convince myself of shit like that I have to get around things like pineapple cake and navajo fucking tacos. This strug is real.