We Collapse. We Give Everything.

Poor Office Jesus. By the end of the day I almost felt sorry for him as he fiddled with his iPhone wrapped in his ephemeral thoughts. Tortured by the recognition being inappropriately offered to other non Office Jesus people.

But the cheeky little shit did try to cock sling with me a little too early in the morning and I was kinda zen like about it all & was just, not your business! Have no reason to even comment, but I see you insist on doing so anyway! And now you've just gone and up and riled me so… 'It is by will alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the juice of Sapho (iced espresso) that thoughts acquire speed, the lips acquire stains, stains become a warning. It is by will alone I set my mind in motion'. Yeah. Seriously. You actually want to fuck with all of that and all of mother fucking this bitch. Oh I see.

"Oh no sorry. That's been done. Not fast enough gee how unsurprising. It's been PDFed and emailed to New York or some other city where smart people live. Sorry I would have told you but you were all absorbed in the new whatever the fuck album, focused, trying to smite your enemy. Me. And I was kinda not taking it seriously, peckish and skipped off to lunch. Lates."

Later,

"Sorry. No. Check your inbox. I so only, I swearsies, just sent that email. To the group. You can always have another Dr. Pepper, amp up and review it when you're more, I don't know, here. Let me know some of the things you think I missed. You'd like that I think."

Apoplectically, he mistakes one of my emails he is only cc'd on for an email from the boss entity. Asks a clutch of people, including myself, what they think that could mean. Apologizes at a curiously lower decibel than he is generally known for, when his idiotic blunder is brought to his attention (blissfully) by someone else, and I have to pretend to actually be choking on nothing whatsoever.

Total bloody spectacle, and I am delighted to say it didn't end there. Just one colossal smack down after another & it came to a point where I wasn't even able to look at him.

One coworker even remarked that he was quite certain that "this day was the reason God made the Earth and heavens". He's been bullied a lot by the Office J so I'm quite sure he was exaggerating. Plus our super hunky yum yum something baseman for the Orioles, Chris Davis (above), was benched today for what I'm sure is NO GOOD REASON so I can't buy into that whole cosmic fates nonsense.

It did put a little "get off my mother fucking dick bitch!" into my step I sure have to say.