I Misinterpreted The Signage.

So I found me a little bite of LA right here in the heart of Capitol Hill. I was doing some Sunday morning thrifting before the Farmers Market freak show when I was shot with a sensation of hunger, also some muscle queer let loose one of the most toxic farts I have ever right square in the middle of the housewares department so I was set to be leaving when I noticed Rancho Bravo Tacos around the corner from Value Village. You may remember where the KFC used to be, but a vacant building has been for the 2 intervening years since RBT moved in.

I walked in and I was the only one there, which is fine, everyone was speaking Spanish which is as it should be. Spartan, clean, small menu. I noticed most things had a vegetarian option which is so not like El Gran Burrito on Santa Monica and Vermont where you actually have to explain the concept of "meatless" before getting into the vegetarian part of the whole enchilada. Anyway, kinda made me miss my old shit hole for a second. Vegetarian burrito and soda for $5.00 was good enough, but the hot sauce is what I could not believe. Little thimble like containers of various salsas I immediately put my paws on the ones that looked like the crud at King Taco and Wow! I was impressed! You could wrap a turd in a tortilla and it would be divine with that hot sauce. That is how Compadre described King Taco hot sauce, and I can't wait to let him try their al pastor tacos so he can tell me whether this place really is fly, or just poseurs with some gumption, and a fine hot sauce recipe. Because you can only tell so much with rice and beans, but it is all really a delivery mechanism for the hot sauce.

I was all ready to try their fish tacos (cause I roll that way) but whereas I started out the sole diner the place was now mad packed with all sorts of people including that fucker that let rip the hideous fart in the middle of Value Village. No thank you! I packed up my gear and I left, but I'm going to be grabbing me a couple of tacos on my way home from work you can be sure.

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RBT I gather started out as a roach coach in Wallingford (which independently blows my mind), but has now opened this semi-permanent guerrilla location. As you can imagine the Yelp reviews of the original taco cart are hilarious. Everyone professes some preternatural knowledge of taco carts, and cheap Mexican food, but by and large the only negative and one-starry reviews are from self-professed So-Cal ex-pats that frankly remember their local taco carts as being a little better than they actually were. I remember the one that used to park on Grand right in the front of the Wells Fargo Center. Yeah at 6:00am I would have a hankering for a breakfast burrito, but at lunch I had no problem walking right past that mess for La Salsa and paying 3 times as much. And that's another issue I have, they do not have La Salsa up here. Or Fred Segal.

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I don't want to leave a bad review and maybe I'm too biased because I grew up in L.A. aka Mexico Jr. but this place has struck out 3 times with me. The only reason I gave it a second star is because it's open late. Might as well have turned it into another bathhouse, I have a feeling people would have been better fed. As I count the days until I move out of Seattle I wonder to myself: Will Seattle ever get a clue??? - This guy is just a dick, and needs to find his way back to Rancho Cucamonga STAT. Although we could use another bathhouse he is right about that.