How To Relate Our Reality.

Holy Crap! I really need to start paying attention here because things are happening n' shit. During a spring training game yesterday against the Devil Rays Yankee Shelley Duncan kicked Akinori Iwamuri square in the nuts while sliding into second. Mercy! Duncan was ejected from the game under the highly technical no spaz allowed rule, but before he could leave Devil Ray's right fielder Jonny Gomes came up behind Duncan and did what could best be described as a mounting. Naturally both benches cleared in order to get a better look, but Iwamuri was the only one actually injured. I guess tensions have been mounting between the two teams following a couple of other instances. Both teams were warned before the game, but Shelley Duncan is really really a spaz so there's just no telling what he's gonna do. It is just spring training girls. I really should start watching the spring training games. Not like I have anything else to do.

One benefit of my extended downtime is that I've officially become uninterested in salacious celebrity gossip. I think I may even take the links down from my blog. Had it. Enough. And I think I've almost kicked the habit for good. The other day someone mentioned how they couldn't look away from the Eliot Spitzer story, and I was proud to say that I had no idea what show he was on, but I'm sure it's been canceled. Even TMZ, which is ordinarily OK, has taken to filming people of very little import coming out of a restaurant doing nothing in particular. Just can't seem to get into it.


Did you know that Panda Express doesn't offer any vegetarian options. I was stunned. I checked their website and it said "Panda Express does not offer vegetarian entrees due to our cooking process. Most of our entrees contain a chicken base that is used as a flavor enhancer." WTF? I'll say it again, WTF? First of all I don't even know what a "chicken base" is, but the very sound chills me to the bone. Second, how can you possibly make steamed vegetables and rice non-vegetarian? And what the hell do you have to do to tofu to make it non-vegetarian? I was appalled. I contacted PETA, and they wrote me a nice letter promising to convey my concerns to Panda Express, but I feel bad because they have more important things to worry about. Like Mars Candy. Did you realize Mars Candy tests on animals, but Hershey's doesn't? Good to know.