Don't Funk With My What.

Yesterday's game against the Blue Jays was cataclysmic. Let me gather myself for a second because it's all just too much. Like how do I keep myself from singing? The Yankees won which was a shocker in and of itself, but with 5 runs in the first inning with a lukewarm Derek I thought the game was played out in the first 20 minutes. I was wrong. At the top of the ninth with a 6-5 lead Kyle managed not to blow, Georgie popped a fly ball to third base. RoRo was on second and as he was running behind the third baseman it was alleged that he yelled "Got it!" The third baseman Howie Clark then backed off the ball and an otherwise easy play was dropped. It was hysterical. The game shuddered to a halt as the Blue Jays frothed at RoRo. The umpires finally had to put an end to the spectacle, but that was only after several minutes of the most appalling fuss. Canadians. The Yankees finally took home a W in a 10-5 victory. One announcer referred to it as "dirty pool", and I think the Blue Jays manager called it something like Bush League. Speak plainly you twat! All I know is that I thought it was brilliant, and as Anonymous D said, if they're playing in the majors and they can't tell the difference between a teammate and an opponent, then they're hardly in the position to complain about dropping the only thing in the game they're charged with catching. Fems!

John Gibbons the Blue Jays manager said it was unbecoming of a Yankee. Please. There are few people that are as familiar with the Yankees recent play as I am. A Yankee does not back off a ball regardless of a call. This was evidenced earlier in the game when Derek nearly took RoRo out fielding a fly ball to left field. And when Derek dropped Cano in the iconic 3 legged monster photo. A signed copy of that will set you back a few. WTF is this John Gibbons?!?!?!? And where in the name of Christendom does he get off commenting on something called Yankees baseball. I'm gonna have at that bitches face if ever I see him. You just read this article if you wanna hear all the trash. Canadians. Oh, and BTW, when you look as good as RoRo and are paid as much as him to catch a ball and swing things, then and only then, will I be interested in any of your comments relating to "bush league", Twit!

This all came after the unseemly and altogether fabricated New York Post story that linked RoRo to something called a "mysterious busty blond". It goes without saying that the NYP story lacked anything you would liken to language, however, it was later reported, or rather insinuated, that Derek was in the habit of paying young women to dance for him. Suggestively one would assume. Check it out yo. Like it's beneath my dignity to even comment on that.

Jonny Damon scored his 2000th hit in yesterdays game. A milestone, and one you should definitely watch the shirtless wonder discuss on yesnetwork.com. And while we're on the subject can I just say what a gift from God yesnetwork is. Check out Robbies interview and you can see Derek in the background trying to block Andy Phelps or somebody from the camera's view as he pulls up his chonies. It's a national treasure.

I seem to be listening to the new Wilco album, and despite the songs about ice melting in a glass the music isn't altogether disinteresting. Well actually it is. Sorta like all the music they sell at Starbucks. But the Yankees have a day off and I have to occupy myself with something. The Yanks play the Red Sox tomorrow so stay gorgeous and for God's sake stay at home.