Stand In Line To Be Declined.

I suppose "awkward" would sum up Monday night's Bones well enough. I think that is being exceedingly generous, but that is just the mood I'm in.

I know that when you are the point where the two stars of the show are essentially footing the bill for the production then there is little gas left in the spectacle. This season in particular I've sat through some groaners merely so I could take in the miracle that is Booth's eyebrows, but Monday's 9-11 themed episode was quite simply beyond anything I had ever witnessed before. In living memory.

I felt bad for the actors who I imagine must have been forced at gunpoint to read the soppy lines. The writers were as remorseless as they were sentimental and mawkish. I could go so far as to say that it may have been so bad as to fuck up the weekend which had of course ended about 24 hours prior.

The Country House Revealed on PBS on the other hand is another matter entirely. Sweeping vistas on the Engish countryside, ancient architecture and gardens, a narrator whose voice could be described as lilting just drips with perfectly formed received pronunciation. Scored with a mixture of Boards of Canada and Aphex Twin I had to stop and check the credits to make sure I hadn't actually made the program. I hadn't. But I so could have.

I do have to admit that the otherwise sublime program sailed perilously close to the line when they interviewed the gauche American owners. I think they did Juicy Couture or something. They didn't mention it, but I read not the day before that the crushing expense of running these houses bankrupts even the most hearty owners in usually no longer than 10 years. They'll be featuring another house next week. Hopefully one without American owners. Hopefully it's on your local PBS station. Hopefully it's on the same time as the next episode of Bones.