Stunned Into Terrified Silence.
The coworkers eat with their hands. Like simians. The one I dubbed Ms. Sniffles pulls also on her hair and picks at her skin as though she were preening for lice. Like a simian. There are petty territorial disputes over inconsequential items like office chairs & tape. Yes tape. I'm thinking of hiding some bananas down the hall and timing the exodus.
I made the mistake of answering the question "Did you watch the Oscars?" truthfully, and this was sadly seen as an invitation to tell me all about it. I endured it as best I could. I tried to imagine the vacant expression on my face as the names of unfamiliar people were recited and I tried quite hard to fix an even more pained expression. It must not have worked because before I realized what was happening or could find an eject button they were reciting Oscar statistics. Like how many Oscars were won by blah blah blah.
Nightmare. I turned on the twitter and it was happening there too. There seems to be no escape. I especially like the Chicago bloggers tweeting like they're on the red carpet. They may call it a harmless interest. I call it a sickness. And I have the uniquely satisfying benefit of usually being right.
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On an entirely unrelated note, Ryan Braun is a falsely accused aboo enduring a torrent of spiteful unfounded vitriol from the most despicable and vile corners of geekdom. Including one of my twitter followers which is proofing a touch embarrassing.

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